girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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