Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
