We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
