so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize