Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Randomize
