And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
