ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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