just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
