I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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