Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No subtext here. People are naked.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Are we still banned from the library?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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