At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
