even my farts smell like vagina
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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