Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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