Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
