Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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