We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
