I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
