Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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