What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
