He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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