so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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