He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
