I swear she didn't look like that last week.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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