Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
