you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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