Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
