Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
