Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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