Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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