Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
