So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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