SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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