the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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