Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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