I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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