hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Let's get the cat blown out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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