Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
