Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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