wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
