I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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