He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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