Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
