So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You're a waste of cheezeits
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
