So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
