Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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