why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
