chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Boobs are out for the taking
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
