This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
