That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
