don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
