It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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