How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
