oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
