tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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