I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
