I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
