Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
