I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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