Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
