her vagine was all disorganized.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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