is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
They took my balls.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
