Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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