Buhtt sex?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
